FRANKFURT, Germany 鈥?One of these things is not like the other. There鈥檚 a lifesize poster of 鈥淭he new Mercedes-Benz SUVs,鈥?the updated G-Class leading a formation of GLA-, GLC-, GLE-Class, GLE-Class coupe and GL-Class (soon to be GLS, with a facelift), at the entrance to an ADAC off-road training center here. We鈥檝e been tooling around the outskirts of Frankfurt this rainy September day, on somewhat twisty two-lanes and parts of the autobahn, in the 2016 Mercedes-Benz G550 (badged 鈥淕500鈥?in Europe), with its new 4.0-liter biturbo V-8 and a minor facelift. The ADAC course serves up enough water, rocks, and chassis-twisting terrain to drown or beat up any of those Benz sport/utilities except the Gelendawagen. The G500 acquits itself quite well, of course, as only a handful of surviving SUVs 鈥?not CUVs 鈥?can, these days. We鈥檙e thinking most Land Rovers and most Jeeps, and a few aged body-on-frame models from various brands.
The ladder-framed Mercedes G-Class was launched in 1979 at the request, rather infamously, of the Shah of Iran. And, as Benz points out, it was the brand鈥檚 sole sport/utility for 18 years. That鈥檚 when the preternaturally crossover-ish M-Class (now GLE) joined the fray. Another nine years or so later, in 2006, the GL-Class entered the picture. Your first clue will be when you pull the door handle. You can鈥檛; it鈥檚 fixed to the door. Push the button with your thumb, instead. How long has it been since an S-Class had such door handles? Probably goes back to the late 鈥?0s or early 鈥?0s. 120,825, though the driver鈥檚 seat lacks the comfort of the brand鈥檚 cars and other SUVs, which have some of the best, most sumptuous seats in the world, even before you turn on the power massage. This Benz does not offer massages, either. Fortunately, the car engines fit easily into the G-wagen. The new 4.0-liter biturbo V-8 is smooth and more than adequately powerful, at 416 horsepower and 450 pound-feet, up 34 hp and 59 lb-ft over the 2015 G550鈥檚 naturally aspirated 5.5-liter V-8.
Mercedes quotes an estimated 0-60 mph time of 5.7-seconds, which is 0.3 seconds quicker than the estimate with the old engine. This new V-8 is as quiet and smooth, with unobtrusive turbo lag, as any engine comes, adding to the proverbial bank vault feeling of this off-road Q-ship. That smaller biturbo V-8 is moving 5,724 pounds, so we鈥檙e not talking rocket-ship thrust here. In our experience, the AMG-wagens aren鈥檛 worth it unless you like the driving dynamics of a runaway freight train, given the G-Class鈥檚 height (76.9 inches, or 76.3 for either AMG), width (80.9 inches) and blocky sheetmetal. We drove only the G550 and not the AMGs, nor the G500 4脳4-squared; the outrageously tall model that Mercedes USA says has not been approved for import. On paved streets and highways the 2016 Mercedes-Benz G550 is no hair shirt. It actually drives a bit smaller than it is. It doesn鈥檛 feel like it鈥檚 taking up any more space in its lane than modern crossover/utility vehicles.
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