For those that have me met more than a couple of times, you know how much I love beautiful things. I am sort of a beauty junkie. I actually intent to write about that topic. I just love finding beauty. I go on beauty hunting days to get a glimpse of the beauty in the world. My weapon is my digital camera. I search restlessly until I find beauty. In any case, loving beauty so much, I love it in nature but also in material objects. I can't really like a Bugatti even if it is the faster most expensive cars ever: you need to install the roof top on the convertable yourself and, at 2.5 million dollars, I think the engineering should be better. I dream of owning a Porsche Carrera 4S, navy blue with beige interior. In the past, I wanted a SAAB 900S and also a mid 1990's Jaguar Vanden Plas and had pleasure in driving both them.
I guess the Porsche is coming up next. Most people that I have spent some time with me know how spiritual I am. I am not religious but believe in the world of the non visible. Can both spirituality and materialism go together? I will write about that later. On rare occasions, some people visited my "in transit playground" as I like to call it; an apartment I rented to be close to my brother and until I find where I really wanted to live. Well, my playground is the absolute basic. There is no fluff, no luxury, no expensive stuff. I just maybe don't really care about expensive stuff. Isn't there a contradiction? No. In fact, I believe there is huge gap between wants and needs and when the difference is understood, we stand one step closer to pure bliss. So, I live in a tiny apartment next to the river, with the bare necessities in it. When all people around me are chasing the newest technologies and running after the trendiest purchase. I think I found out I had enough.
Or maybe, don't want to invest since I am in transit. Or maybe, I feel I had it all. So, there lies the main difference between wants and needs. I feel like a real kid a lot of times. I love to laugh and play. I admire the world like a child and am grateful to be able to do so most of the time regardless of what my personal circumstances are. It took some practice though and I am still learning how to go back in childhood. As a child, I have super duper wants of great stuff like Porshes' and a cool Yamaha motorcycle like the one Lara Croft rides. I want beautiful things because of the beauty junky in me. I won't pay the high price for them though, that would be insane. I remember in my twenties, I had gone to a car show. I just loved looking at all the spectacular new models. It felt exhilarating. Yet, that time, I was struggling financially.
I was working full time to pay for my full time University studies and doing radio shows for the love of hearing my voice I guess and for the passion of reading books. But, I was tired and broke. 7,000 a year and my school only cost me almost half of that. I created food out of nothing and valued money a lot. I went to the car show and fell in love with a SAAB 900S. I thought it was God's creation and not men's. My eyes were shining with envy and the salesman, feeling sorry let me sit in the car. He also gave me a box of tissues because I cried for a long time. 70,000 then. Ten times what I earned in a year. It was an impossible love and I had to let go. 700. And, because I treasured it for what it was, a God's creation and a beautiful piece of machine, I never fell out of love with him.
And I say him on purpose. I even cried when I had to let him go when he died on me. My happiness with the car was ever lasting because I never regarded it as a need to get somewhere but as a want that fulfill me on its own. I think we can start being grateful when our basic needs are met. The ones for food, clothes, roof and love. The necessary ones to be able to survive that most people on the planet don't even fully enjoy the luxury of. Then, secondary needs might mean to have a vehicle and ways to learn, perhaps. What else we really need? To inspire, be remembered somehow, give back, feel appreciated. Wow, when we think of it, the rest is really pure luxury. When we really stop and think about what makes us really happy, the wants fall far from meeting that criteria.
No comments:
Post a Comment